Over the past 8 weeks, I have been thinking a lot about the differences between my kids' births.
Both Felix's and Anya's births had a few similarities:
1. I was lucky with both pregnancies in that I didn't have any complications or problems.
2. Both kids were born past their due dates.
3. With both kids, we went into labor the day after a membrane sweep.
4. We did not do a medical induction with either of them.
5. We were able to have vaginal deliveries with both.
That being said, the labor and deliveries were so different.
1. Care Providers
For Anya's birth, I had an OB who I think is a really great guy and a good doctor, but he was simply more medical-minded than I was. He had a good bedside manner and took great care of me throughout my pregnancy, but I think we just had completely different views on how birth could be. One of the things I remember him saying was that he didn't like birth plans - that really should have been my first clue. We ended up not having a birth plan for this birth because of that comment.
For Felix's birth, I switched to a different OB who has a reputation for being very natural-friendly. I was nervous about switching providers but I am so glad I did. In our first meeting with Dr. Scordalakes, he recommended that we hire a doula if we wanted to do it naturally, and then he said something about wishing they had birthing tubs at the hospital here. I knew immediately we had made the right decision in switching and I do not regret it at all. We did have a birth plan with this birth and the staff followed it perfectly. Also, Dr. Scordalakes was ok with everything we had on it.
2. Coping with Labor
For Anya's birth, we had taken a childbirth class at the hospital and we had both read up on coping mechanisms. We also attended a Birth Network meeting that was geared towards coping during contractions. But for some reason, when I went into labor, it was like we forgot about all those things. I really don't know what happened. I remember thinking after the fact about all the things we should have tried but didn't think about. We did do some things like use the exercise ball and the slow-dance position but there were so many other things we could have done. I think I was just as prepared as I thought I was, and I was definitely not as educated as I am now (though I am still learning new things every day!).
For Felix's birth, we hired a doula and this was one of the best decisions we made during the pregnancy (and was right up there with switching OB's). She had a lot of tricks up her sleeve so this time we didn't forget about all the techniques to use. We used a ton of things:
a. Heated rice packs - I had one on me almost at all times at the beginning of active labor. This was when having 2 people came in handy, because someone could run to reheat one of the packs while the other held the other rice pack to my back and I never had to be alone.
b. Exercise ball - This worked really well in the beginning. Just moving in a circular motion was very soothing.
c. Showers - I was in and out of the shower several times. This was probably the best coping skill I had. That being said, toward the end, nothing really worked but this was still the best way I had for dealing with the pain.
d. Hip Squeeze - For those of you who aren't familiar with this, it is basically when someone stands behind you and squeezes your hips together while you are having a contraction. It doesn't take the pain away completely, but it definitely relieves some of the pressure. I often used this in conjunction with the heated rice packs.
e. Music - I had created several playlists beforehand, including one for Early Labor, Active Labor, Pushing, and After the Birth. I was given some pointers from a local music therapist who had received training in Music Therapy Assisted Childbirth, so those were the guidelines I followed. It was definitely nice to have something to focus on during the contractions and sometimes the lyrics of some of the songs stuck out in my head and helped to motivate me throughout labor.
f. Squats - I actually hated this, but Megan (our doula) kept trying to get me to do them during contractions to help my water to break. I'm glad it didn't take too many of them because they definitely hurt really bad toward the end.
g. Rocking and Other Random Movements - A lot of times, I would just sway back and forth, do side lunges, or rock back and forth if I was on the bed. I found that I really could not stay still during contractions or they were almost unbearable.
h. Focused Breathing and Imagery - During contractions, I always tried to focus downward. I know it sounds hokey but it actually did help to imagine the contractions pushing the baby down and my body opening up to let him out. During contractions, I tried to breathe and pretend that my breath was helping to pushing everything down.
3. Progression of Labor
Labor felt so much different with each of the births. What I felt at 4 cm with Anya was what I felt between 6 and 7 cm with Felix. I guess I went into the second birth much more prepared and relaxed than the first, so maybe that's why it wasn't as painful in the beginning. Both times I did stall a little, though. The first time around, it took forever to get from 4 to 5, which is about the time I got the epidural. The epidural then stalled my labor, and because I was confined to the bed, it was very difficult to do anything to get labor to pick up again, which is how we ended up with a low dose of Pitocin.
The second time around, it was getting from 6 to 7 that was the most difficult and took the longest. That is also the point at which things got harder to cope with. Of course, I was getting discouraged by that point, but having the doula remind me that things would hopefully pick up and go more quickly once we hit 7 really helped me to keep going. Also, because I could move around, I was able to do those oh-so-great squats to get my water to break, and once that happened, Felix was born within the hour.
4. Pushing Positions
With Anya's birth, I absolutely hated pushing on my back. It felt really unnatural to do it that way but that is what I felt the staff really wanted me to do.
With Felix's birth, I got to do whatever I wanted. I pushed on my hands and knees for awhile (mostly because I got stuck in that position and had a hard time getting out of it) and also on my side. I didn't like the side-lying pushing as much as I thought I would. Ultimately, I ended up being on my side when Felix crowned and I pushed him out in a sitting position. It was so much easier that way and I could see more of what was going on.
The differences in the births don't end here, because there are other things that were very different after each child was born, so stay tuned for more!
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