What They Don't Tell You at the Hospital - Part One

After reading my friend Holly's blog post about The Dark Side of Motherhood, I've been inspired to share with you a few of my not-so-great experiences after bringing a baby home as a brand new mom. Don't get me wrong - being a mother is great and nothing beats hearing your child laugh or seeing her smile for the first time, but it's not always the pretty picture some people like to paint, as Holly very clearly points out. I'm writing this post, not out of negativity or to scare first-time moms, but because they were things that would have been nice to know, because I was definitely unprepared for them the first time around. So here are a few things to think about as you bring home your new bundle of joy!

1. You will wake up in hot (and cold) sweats for several nights after having your child. I don't know if this was related to breastfeeding or just the hormones after having given birth, but I woke up several nights thinking I was seriously sick or having a reaction to my pain meds. My sheets and pajamas were literally soaked. When I called about it, they told me that was totally normal. Why no one ever thought to tell me this would happen, I will never know.

2. You won't be on time anywhere for at least the first 6 months. This really bugged me because I really prefer to be on time, whenever possible. However, when you have a newborn, someone always fills her diaper right before you leave or decides that she is hungry and must eat right now, even if you just fed her 10 minutes ago. It's like babies sense that there is somewhere important you need to be and they demand your immediate attention. The first day my husband and I attempted to leave the house, it took us hours. We had not packed the diaper bag before our daughter was born (I would totally recommend this!) so we spent most of the morning trying to figure out what to put in it. I know that sounds crazy because how long can it really take to pack a diaper bag? But between constant diaper changes, nursing every 2 hours (from the beginning of the nursing session - not the end), and not being able to put her down because she would cry, it literally took the two of us hours to be ready to leave the house.

3. You will be eating all your food that is supposed to be hot, cold, and all of your food that is supposed to be cold will be lukewarm by the time you get to it, especially if you are breastfeeding.  It's like babies totally know when you are getting ready to eat and then they decide they are hungry, too. I used to get so irritated by this because I would think that I had fed my daughter at a good time so that I would be able to eat in peace, but that rarely happened. Eventually, I got good enough at breastfeeding that I could do both at the same time, but that took awhile. Every parent has probably experienced having to eat their food at not-so-great temperatures (or not at all), but it is certainly at its worst with a newborn.

4. You will be hungrier than you have ever been in your entire life. If you choose to breastfeed, you will be amazed by how famished you are all the time. I had no idea I would be able to eat and eat and eat and never really feel full. (I don't recommend this if you want to lose the baby weight quickly!) Obviously, if you're nursing, you want to make sure you're eating enough because you really are still eating for two, but you also want to make good and healthy choices. Unfortunately, the healthy choices always seem to take longer to prepare. If at all possible, it's best to stock your refrigerator with fresh fruits and vegetables (that have already been washed and cut so you can just grab them) and other healthy snacks that give you energy and are easy to grab. One thing we also did both times was to prepare frozen meals ahead of time. People may bring you food after the baby is born, which is, by the way, one of the absolute best gifts you could give a new mom, but eventually that will end and you will be on your own for food. And no matter how understanding your husband is, he will probably not get that you don't have time to cook a nice dinner for all of you while you are just staying home with the baby. Plus, if you freeze meals, you have control over what is in them and you can make them healthier. Takeout is great for awhile, but trust me, you will get tired of that, too.

5. Your house will never truly be clean again - seriously. This was another difficult one for me. I love having my house picked up and clean. That is impossible to do with a child for a lot of reasons. You will be completely exhausted and cleaning while carrying a child around takes a lot longer than if you could just put her down and do it. Once I got the hang of "wearing" my baby, I was able to do some things like dust and vacuum, which made it easier. Unfortunately, this is also not one of those things that gets better. With a newborn, the mess is still primarily from just you and your significant other. As they grow older, children (gladly) add to this mess and are not at all worried that playing with a bottle of strawberry wine on the new carpet will cause such a fuss - yes, that did happen at our house!
 
Despite all these "setbacks," the sweet look on your newborn's face is totally worth it!

Be sure to stay tuned for Part 2!