What Is a Doula and Do I Need One?

When I tell people I hired a doula for the birth of our sweet little Felix, I typically get a look of confusion and then I am asked, "what is a doula?" The word doula means "a woman who serves" (according to www.dona.org). There are technically two kinds of doulas: birth doulas and postpartum doulas. Birth doulas help women prepare for birth as well as help them achieve the birth experience they want. Postpartum doulas deal mostly with the adjustment period after giving birth and may help with anything from housework to education about issues that come up directly after birth.

So, yes, we hired a (birth) doula for the birth of our son. And it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Like I said, many people I talked to about this did not know what a doula was and there seem to be a lot of common misconceptions.

Doulas do not deliver babies. Unless, of course, there is an emergency in which she has to. Our doula keeps supplies on hand to do this just in case, but doulas do not typically deliver babies. Most people are probably referring to midwives who provide similar care as an OB, though they are generally believed to be more "natural" in their care.

Just because you hire a doula doesn't mean you have to have a "natural" birth. Doulas are there to support the mother (and father) before, during, and the hour or two after delivery. A good doula will help a mother achieve the birth she wants, even if it means the mother has a scheduled c-section or plans to have medication during labor.

Doulas do not replace the role of a significant other. However, having a doula ensures that you should never have to be alone during your labor. If you have a long labor, your significant other might need a break to eat, nap, or even go to the bathroom. This may seem unnecessary, seeing as you (the mother) will be going through a lot of pain and probably won't get to do any of those things, but trust me, your support person will be much more helpful to you if they get to do those things. During my labor, I used a lot of hot rice packs so someone kept having to leave to reheat them. Having both my husband and our doula was super helpful at that point! Doulas do as much as you need them to do, and a good one should know what she is doing, so it is definitely a blessing to have her around, even if you just need her to coach your significant other on what he should be doing.

Doulas are probably a better option than just a friend or family member (in most cases). Sometimes family and/or friends may be a little confused as to why you would hire a doula. Oftentimes, they might even say they can just help you for free. This might sound enticing at first, but think realistically. Is your friend or family member going to get up out of bed and come to your house to help you labor if you call her at 2 in the morning? If you luck out and end up having a 25-hour or more labor, is your friend or family member going to stay with you the entire time? Or do they have other commitments and responsibilities like a job, kids, etc.? Will your friend or family member know alternative ways of coping with labor pain and be able to offer suggestions about pushing positions, etc.? Will your friend or family member know enough about birth to offer you true information about possible complications, procedures offered, and medical interventions? Though many friends and family members might have good intentions, chances are they aren't going to be able to do all these things for you. But a doula will.

In my opinion, if your OB knows you have a doula, he/she may be less likely to try to talk to you in an unnecessary medical intervention. So not all doctors will try to talk you into unnecessary interventions, but a lot of them tend to do this (at least according to stories I have heard). A good doula knows a great deal about pregnancy and birth and will be able to give you an alternative point of view to help you make a decision. Because a doula is in the picture, a doctor may not be able to get by on just offering medical interventions.

Hiring a doula does not have to be expensive. The cost of a doula definitely depends on your area, but I can tell you that hiring a doula is probably much cheaper than getting an epidural, Pitocin, etc. Depending on your insurance plan, this may or may not save you money. Our insurance plan has an out-of-packet maximum of $3,500. We definitely met that amount even without any drugs or interventions. However, if your insurance plan has a higher out-of-pocket maximum than that and you plan on going au natural, it is possible that you won't meet the maximum amount, in which case hiring a doula may actually be cheaper. This is one of those things that depends on the plan and the actual situation, but it could be worth looking into!

When I first mentioned hiring a doula at the beginning of my second pregnancy, my husband was definitely skeptical. He didn't feel it was necessary. I told him we should at least meet with a few doulas to see if it was what we wanted and he finally agreed. (I think most doulas do free consultations). Obviously, we hired one and it worked really well for us. After the birth experience with a doula, my husband now agrees that doulas are the way to go! He says that it was helpful to have someone with experience in labor and coping with labor, because "if I tell my wife it's almost over, she's not going to believe me, because how do I know that? I've never been through it. But the doula has and she has seen tons of births."

My thoughts on doulas? I wouldn't go through another natural birth without one, and I regret that we didn't hire one with our first birth. We don't know yet if we will have a third child, but if we do, we will definitely be doing it with a doula!

Here are some links to a few doulas that we know in our area, though I know there are several more. If you know of more doulas in the area, feel free to comment with links to their websites.

Megan Newhouse-Bailey -  This is the doula we used, and she was amazing!

Andie Gunter
Japhia Leach

The Evansville Birth Network also has lots of information about birth. If you are in need of support regarding a previous C-section or know that you will need to schedule one, check out ICAN of Evansville.

Breastfeeding: The Perks

There is lots of research out there now to support the fact that breastfeeding is better for babies than formula. Of course, if a woman cannot breastfeed or there are circumstances that prohibit her from being able to do so, formula is not going to hurt a baby. But, if at all possible, they say that "breast is best."

*Disclaimer: I know that not everyone is able to breastfeed (or even wants to) for whatever reason. I do consider myself to be lucky in that both of my babies were great nursers (that's what happens when you come from a family of good eaters on both sides!). They were also both full-term and had developed the sucking reflex by the time they were born. (Yet another reason why moms should consider waiting, if possible.) This post is not meant to offend anyone in any way but simply highlights the perks of breastfeeding.

Now that I am currently nursing my second child (I nursed Anya until 15 months), I'm reminded of all the other reasons I breastfeed, other than just the simple fact that it is better for him.

1. The cute little faces he makes. Moms who don't breastfeed at all are totally missing out on this. When you nurse, you get a view of your child that no one else really gets. When Felix is super hungry and finally latches on to eat, his eyes kind of glaze over, almost like he's drunk. A lot of times he will make faces and raise his eyebrows, and occasionally, he falls asleep. Then, he'll often smile at me (awake or asleep) and it's just so sweet.

2. The cute little noises he makes. Moms who don't breastfeed at all are totally missing out on this, too. Felix often makes sounds like "mmmm" and "ahhhh" while he's nursing. I guess Mommy's milk is just that good:)

3. He (or she) will always want you (at least every 2 to 3 hours). Since I'm the only one who can feed my baby, it insures that I will get my baby back in my arms at least every 2 to 3 hours, even if we are out somewhere.

4. I don't have to pack anything for him to eat when we leave. When we are out places, I kind of feel a little sorry for the moms who have to make sure to pack the right amount of bottles, formula, etc. All I have to remember is my cover, and if a mom chooses not to use one (which is actually perfectly legal in the state of Indiana), she wouldn't have to remember anything at all.

5. I can eat more than if I weren't nursing. When I first came home from the hospital, I was famished. The hard work I did during labor and delivery and the fact that my body was making milk must have been kicking in and I could eat and eat and eat. In the first few weeks, I lost another 5 pounds, even through all the eating. Unfortunately, I am not one of those women whose weight melts off just because of breastfeeding, even though both of my little darlings gained weight quickly on nothing but my milk. That being said, when I started Weight Watchers this time around, I was awarded extra points each day for exclusively breastfeeding (as opposed to supplementing with formula) and I even added a couple more points to that number to be sure it didn't mess with my supply. Lots of nights, I still have tons of points left after dinner so I can still enjoy an ice cream sundae. And oftentimes, my weight is down again in the morning.

6. It's completely free! While some moms are having to dish out lots of cash for the right formula to feed their babies, I am spending virtually nothing for my baby's food. Yes, I bought a pump (which is lasting me through both babies so far), some bottles and nipples (for daycare), containers and bags to freeze my milk in, and a nursing cover. But a lot of these things (besides the nipples and freezer bags) are reusable from the first baby to the second, and the cost doesn't even begin to compare to the cost of formula.

Yes, there are cons to breastfeeding. I do still have to follow the seafood rules just like I did while pregnant, and I have to time my alcoholic beverages so that Felix won't be affected. I also have to be sure to either feed him or pump every few hours to keep up with my supply and ensure that he will have enough when he is away from me, and this can become pretty grueling and time-consuming when trying to plan things out. That being said, knowing that Felix weighs 14 pounds and 9 ounces (which means he has gained approximately 6 pounds since birth) at 10 weeks and 5 days all due to my milk makes it all worth it!

I will leave you with a couple pictures of my chunky monkeys!

Anya at 12 weeks

Felix - look at those cheeks!

All the breastfeeding moms reading this - feel free to comment with anything I've missed!

May

Exercise: I was still technically on physical restrictions for the first half of May, but was released for work and normal activities on May 15. Before that date, I did take the kids for lots of walks but did not keep track of it. After that date, I have walked a ton...definitely more than two days a week, so I was pretty proud of myself for making it a priority. I also went back to my first Power Yoga class at the very end of May. However, it's frustrating because I just can't do what I could before I got pregnant. I know I will build back up, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Reading: I read another book in May, which brings me up to a grand total of 9 novels read so far this year. I am also still on track with my Bible reading schedule.

Writing: I took a break from writing the week we were on vacation in Chattanooga, but I wrote something in my family blog at least once every other week of the month.

MT Business: Since I didn't work during May, I didn't really do anything in this area.

House Projects: Nothing really happened with this, either...

Finances: We spent more on eating out this month just because of vacation, but we did decent in this area while we were home. We were over budget for groceries/toiletries a couple of weeks but came in under budget on other weeks to balance it out. We also had a yard sale but did not make as much as i had hoped, though I realize most of our items were not necessarily yard sale type items. We plan to try to sell some of the stuff left through Craigslist.

I am not sure that we will be able to save much of anything for the month of May because the medical bills definitely started coming in. While it is disappointing that we won't be able to put back much money for May (if any at all), we are going to be able to pay all our medical bills from Felix's birth with just our paychecks and we shouldn't have to move any money over from our other account.

Other events for the month of May:

Felix was baptized at the beginning of the month.

Our friends Abbie and Brian are Felix's godparents.

We spent 5 nights in Chattanooga for vacation. Hopefully someday I will get around to blogging about it:)

I rejoined Weight Watchers in the hopes of losing the rest of the baby weight sooner rather than later!